[04 Feb 2004|12:03pm] also i met someone who reminds me very much of quintus ewwwwwwieeeeee except he's nicer? maybe i meet too many people no one ever lasts very long i steal hearts and drop them in the street 1 comment|post comment

[04 Feb 2004|12:00pm] my poor adolescent body needs much more sleep! i am sleeping in class too often! my body aches from muscle tension! everything stinks! my life is hell! yaayyyy. post comment

[09 Nov 2003|07:48pm] for once, please maybe it will work out for a little bit. this one's different. less narcissism, more quiet. i need some quiet lately. funny how it happens after i stop angsting. post comment

[03 Nov 2003|10:34pm] too too tired. long days; long nights; long everythings. i am wanting something to look forward to that is not a show or a movie or some event or outing. maybe i am wanting to look forward to a person? who knows. that is stupid. so am i. so are you. post comment

[28 Sep 2003|01:39am] i'm afraid to go home because i'm afraid my mom is going to look older. 2 comments|post comment

[28 Sep 2003|12:55am] the summer i turned fourteen there was a very brief period when i had this undescribable feeling or describable only in what it wasn't. not-innocence not-naivete not-happiness not-universal understanding not-everything's going to be okay i just want to know what it was. post comment

[23 Aug 2003|10:37am] heartsick and headsick and monkeysick and friendsick and momsick and everythingsick. post comment

[21 Jul 2003|02:09am] i hate the nightly ritual of opening the medicine, most of all, because it seems that all of those pills never do what they're supposed to. no magical recovery, no all-better-now. i'm not sure that she's even better than before the surgery. i should ask. post comment

[18 Jul 2003|02:47am] foomf. today it would be a good idea to disappear. post comment

[16 Jul 2003|10:53pm] goodness! (good news!) i think one my students likes my class enough that she's not afraid of bringing a friend along next week! or else she wouldn't risk boring her friend to tears, would she? 3 comments|post comment

[14 Jul 2003|02:35pm] i am almost moving to pittsburgh! in 36 days! that is too soon :( because i will miss monkey and my mom is not 100% better but i am excited because i got a planner and it is a stylish grey plaid and the orientation packet says: "welcome class of 007: the world is not enough" they might actually be stylish there but 30% of the undergrads are engineering students. i am sorry to be a slow fishmaker. i will mail all the fish before i leave! post comment

[30 Jun 2003|09:47pm] all of us, we thought that she'd be better (than this) by now read all of atlas shrugged, finally maybe i'll send one to someone anonymously, which taggart are you, sir? (scratch sir, there's no need to pretend politeness to that parasite anymore) post comment

[24 Jun 2003|12:31am] oh oh oh mom is going to the hospital again on wednesday oh i don't know what to do post comment

[23 Jun 2003|12:14am] i don't like having him on my aim list because i don't like to see his away messages because usually they're something that indicates he's just out doing bad things to his body and i don't like that one bit. also, not having his name on the list makes him easier to ignore. post comment

[18 Jun 2003|04:32am] [ mood | the little things annoy me. ] at the after dinner i, the goddaughter, was introduced to someone's coworker as the girl who skipped a couple grades. this one guy says: emotionally you're only fifteen and you'll be going to school two, three, four years older than you -- and i say but i've been going to school with these people for years and he says but you'll be on your own and i had to bite my tongue but i would have said thanks for the patronization, mister! if it hadn't been right after the funeral because what the fuck kind of person is presumptuous enough to assume knowledge of an absolute stranger's emotional state and capacity for adjustment? talk about a complete lack of manners. as if i didn't have enough people advising me who actually have a clue. incidentally they did use the funeral portrait that they had picked last week. post comment

[18 Jun 2003|03:09am] the funeral was sad. quelle surprise. the gold-painted stone slab they put atop her had a character (which i've seen before) that was symmetrical on both the y and the x axis and today it struck me as beautiful. overhanging everything was 'how will i know how to do all this?' terrible thought. mom knows all the ritual and it's not just because she's a product of china in a geographical sense; not even her siblings know as much. post comment

oh that is too much [11 Jun 2003|09:37pm] when we were visiting a grandmalady[1] over her deathbed they held funeral portraits and asked our opinions even as she was still sentient. it was scary and strange to see 1922-2003 even though she is not yet gone (but as we know -- surely she shan't live out the year.) also very rude because she still knows what is happening. [1] it is the nature of the chinese to have many grandmaladies; it is the nature of paulines to have many grand maladies post comment

[02 Jun 2003|12:44am] i forgot to take pictures of his face. i'm telling you, he's all nose. post comment

[01 Jun 2003|10:05pm] sadness! kevin is gone he hates it when i call him little kevin but knows that i respect him as an equal post comment

[01 Jun 2003|02:46am] done done done no more high school post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]